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Coming out stories Part I: I kiss boys

2. 2. 2008

For Remus the worst thing about being gay was having another secret to hide. He didn´t like secrets and he didn´t keep them from his best friends at least, especially since he promised them so in third year.

But how could he tell them he was interested in men? Since he realized it he was scared of their reaction if they found about somehow and though he would love to he could bring himself to come out to them.

He believed it is imposible. He was sure they would freak out. And now…

Sirius Black was walking to him across the platform and Remus was looking wideeyed at him. The brown-haired boy lived in fright of unacceptance and here was Sirius – attractive, sun tanned, with new haircut, vibrant grayish blue eyes and few (“Not CUTE! Never cute, Prongs!”) freckles right under them – that Sirius was there in black T-shirt which was saying: “I kiss boys,” in white letters.

“Hello, Moony, it´s great to see you again!” Sirius grinned happily. “Have you seen James by any chance? I have lost him somewhere on way from the Wall…”

“He has probably spotted Evans, hasn´t he? That would explain it,” Remus said a little bit absentmindely as he was still purely fascinated by sentence on Sirius T-shirt.

The dog animagus was suddenly close enough for touch and Remus found himself in his arms. The tight hug wasn´t anything surprising as Sirius loved touching people. Remus was half-expecting a peck on his cheek just like on the end of last year when Padfoot kissed both him and Prongs right in front of James´s parents, but that didn’t happened.

“So, do you?” he asked once that Sirius released him. His voice was unusually uncertain.

“Do I what?” Sirius raised one of his eyebrows in confused manner and Remus to his one shock found it very sexy.

“Kiss boys…” Remus explained and added a little grin not to look too taken aback.

“Oh… yes… I hope you don´t mind. Prongs doesn´t. Well, he has teased me since I told him but I suppose it´s okay… Mum and Dad were great. This is from them, actually. They thought I could like it. And guess what, I do!”

All the information were told so fast Remus barely noticed Sirius stopped explaining. He noticed that Sirius mentioned Potters, whom he called Mum and Dad, but didn´t say a word about his own. That could be as well good as bad omen. This summer Sirius ran from his family and Remus got a long letter from James about how broken he is. Sirius centrainly didn´t look sad now. Quite the opposite.

“So?”

Remus realized he was probably too quiet for a long moment. “Yeah, it´s okay with me,” he said with smile but he was sure his eyes were blank. He was lost in his imagination. He could tell boys without worring, right?

And the possibilities… As if Sirius ever looked at him that way!

The black haired boy seemed not to notice. He smiled widely and as he moved his head slightly to throw his hair away from his eyes, Remus noticed something.

“You´ve got your ear pierced!”

Sirius winked at him. “Yeah, I think it suits me, doesn´t it?”

The single little metal circle really did a lot of good to Sirius´s look.

“It´s silver,” Remus pointed out quietly, but the other boy shook his head.

“Nope. Platinum. It looks a lot like silver but it´s totally different. Wouldn´t wear silver around you,” he added in whisper.

“Really?” Remus couldn´t help but smile.

“Yeah. This way I don´t have to be afraid to hug you. I won´t accidentally hurt you.”

Remus felt a shiver running down his spine. Sirius actually chose the earing with him on his mind.

“Thank you,” he said with the warmest smile he could manage.

“You are welcome.”

Remus didn´t really know why but he raised his hand to touch the piece of metal in other boy´s ear. He had still expected it to hurt and he was preparing himself for pain but there was none. And what more, Sirius didn´t pull away instead smiled encouragingly. “See?”

Without thinking the brown haired student let his finger wander from earing to Sirius´s earlobe. The other boy closed his eyes and leaned in the touch a little but Remus had realized his action at the same time and let his hand drop to his side.

That he is into man doesn´t mean you can try to seduce him right on the platform!

Sirius opened his eyes and Remus couldn´t find any useful emotion in them.

“As I said, pure platinum. Come on, let´s found seats before all the good are taken. Prongs and Wormtail will find us eventually!”

Without word Moony followed his friend into the train.

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(kruchcix, 24. 10. 2019 10:19)

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